* hi. for those who know me, you’ll know i’m not the guns-a-blazin’ extrovert type. for the few who don’t know me but read my posts, i’m sure you’ll deduce the same. it’s a struggle to get what’s in my head out of my mouth, which is why i like writing here.
like a sponge (at least i’m good at being quiet and spongey), i’ve tried to pick up the best ways to change myself. why change myself? well, it would seem that within the profession that i’m passionate about – scratch that – any client-facing, private sector, sales-based, human-being-interaction-requirement profession, quiet sponges like me don’t beat the rest of the salmon upstream. to me, success means being one of those flip-floppier, upstreaming salmon.
the following are advice i have absorbed to change myself/get out of my ‘comfort zone’/jostle my status-quo/unbalance my homeostasis/stress me out:
- you must be a chameleon – show different ‘yous’ based on who you’re talking to. all ‘you’ of course, just knowing the audience and adapting to it. fair. but i worry the line between chameleon and manipulation and multiple personality disorder is a fine one.
- don’t be you – mimic characteristics of others you think are more successful than you. this is likely a bad idea. i hope you will infer as to why.
- rock being vulnerable – this is most scary. but after watching brene brown’s ted talks, i like it best.
she has found through years of research that the root of feeling vulnerable is shame due to feeling not being good enough. confident, assertive, sizzlin’ people don’t have this shame. they believe they are worthy. they let go of what they ‘should be’.
ask yourself: do i feel worthy? do i have shame because i don’t feel like i measure up? i feel that way. a lot. that voice in my head that won’t come out of my mouth is a loud one. but the upside is, according to brene, that “vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change”. you have to be open to new ideas, willing to consider, convinced your thinking isn’t necessarily best, to entertain and get behind something revolutionary. if you can question yourself, you can question others with the same rigour.
all things aside, i would rather swim strong and steady based on my steak than be first to get caught with only some sizzle.